Wedding Blues!
I've been getting this rather disturbing feeling off late. I often feel that I don't want to get married. Sometimes, I ask myself what the heck have I landed myself into, and wouldn't I be better off without it? Is it normal? Are they bridal jitters or something? I don't know. But I often feel this way, ever since I got engaged that it. And I'd be damned if I say it aloud!
The very idea of going and staying at someone else's house make me nervous. I've never quite appreciated the concept, to be very honest. Several times my friends would try and organise this pyjama party of sorts, where they said we'd eat, chat, bitch and bitch some more. I'm always game for such enriching activity, only I don't want to spend the night at someone's place and do it. So, I'd carefully sidestep the issue, without (bless my soul!) offending any of my friends. My profession only helped matters, since there was always something or the other happening.
So, like I was saying, I would be utterly, completely, totally uncomfortable at someone else's house. And to think that I'd be living at their place for good. I shudder at the mere thought!
Also, I'm somewhat of an introvert, so that basically translates into me sitting in a corner and well, just sitting and watching others go about their activities. I'd be hesitant to move from one room to another, to stand in front of my in-laws or other relatives, God help me if I'm needed to open my mouth to say something. I'd even think 100 times before using their loo!
Plus, I've never stayed away from my parents. And I don't trust others easily. So, you see, all the ingredients for making my stay at my husband's place uncomfortale beyond belief.
My friends would argue that since my fiance is in the armed forces, I'd be moving around with him, and wouldn't have to stay with my in-laws.
But, I want to point out to them that it's only another cause for concern for me. I know that I'll be terribly homesick, would cry at the smallest of things and would want to rush back home. my home, that it.
It makes me teary-eyed right now, as I write this post to think of what the future has in store for me. And you can see how ill-prepared I am.
So it makes me wonder why was I so thrilled when I got engaged. May be it was because it sort of made our relationship official. or maybe, maybe I was just excited at the idea of being a married woman, married to someone I love. Whatever it was, I don't seem to want it much now. Oh! how I wish I could turn time back **sigh**
The very idea of going and staying at someone else's house make me nervous. I've never quite appreciated the concept, to be very honest. Several times my friends would try and organise this pyjama party of sorts, where they said we'd eat, chat, bitch and bitch some more. I'm always game for such enriching activity, only I don't want to spend the night at someone's place and do it. So, I'd carefully sidestep the issue, without (bless my soul!) offending any of my friends. My profession only helped matters, since there was always something or the other happening.
So, like I was saying, I would be utterly, completely, totally uncomfortable at someone else's house. And to think that I'd be living at their place for good. I shudder at the mere thought!
Also, I'm somewhat of an introvert, so that basically translates into me sitting in a corner and well, just sitting and watching others go about their activities. I'd be hesitant to move from one room to another, to stand in front of my in-laws or other relatives, God help me if I'm needed to open my mouth to say something. I'd even think 100 times before using their loo!
Plus, I've never stayed away from my parents. And I don't trust others easily. So, you see, all the ingredients for making my stay at my husband's place uncomfortale beyond belief.
My friends would argue that since my fiance is in the armed forces, I'd be moving around with him, and wouldn't have to stay with my in-laws.
But, I want to point out to them that it's only another cause for concern for me. I know that I'll be terribly homesick, would cry at the smallest of things and would want to rush back home. my home, that it.
It makes me teary-eyed right now, as I write this post to think of what the future has in store for me. And you can see how ill-prepared I am.
So it makes me wonder why was I so thrilled when I got engaged. May be it was because it sort of made our relationship official. or maybe, maybe I was just excited at the idea of being a married woman, married to someone I love. Whatever it was, I don't seem to want it much now. Oh! how I wish I could turn time back **sigh**