Does this happen to you too?
Sometimes, I feel out of sync with almost everybody I know. Sometimes the feeling that I'm being cheated or betrayed becomes very strong. Not that I'm suspicious. But, I just get the feeling of being used by all. All of my friends, everybody I know. Everybody who's close to me. So when they call or want me to call, I just somehow know it must be because they either have some work or just want to kill time talking to me, since its a tad bit exciting than sitting idle. I feel very let down.
Probably I shouldn't be writing this because I like to keep such things to myself. But kabhi kabhi it gets too much. I start hating myself for being a party to this charade.
I wonder how people make 'good' friends. I certainly don't have any. In fact, I have no one. You know I've come to realise that the worst thing you can wish upon someone is that they be lonely. It kills you. i hate to have a blog with nothing remotely exciting to say. No sense of humour, basically zilch. Man, I feel like shit :(
Probably I shouldn't be writing this because I like to keep such things to myself. But kabhi kabhi it gets too much. I start hating myself for being a party to this charade.
I wonder how people make 'good' friends. I certainly don't have any. In fact, I have no one. You know I've come to realise that the worst thing you can wish upon someone is that they be lonely. It kills you. i hate to have a blog with nothing remotely exciting to say. No sense of humour, basically zilch. Man, I feel like shit :(
4 Comments:
Hai re, tu itna sab kuch bol gayi!I don't know what to say.
I'm deeply HURT to hear you say that! So I'm not a good friend eh? Well, I know you because you're a colleague but I've always said that I would have been friends with you even if we weren't colleagues! And puhleese, I am so the fucking queen of having-nothing-interesting-in-my-life!
I also think we make a huge fucking deal of this whole business of "having a life". Theek hai yaar, our work hours don't permit it. Can't do much about it. Paapi pet ka sawal hai!
Essar: You are a sweetheart and a very good friend :) But sometimes, I don't know if you can understand it, there's a feeling of despair. Only it has started coming too often now
That's how it is P. Youre lucky you've understood this sooner instead of than later. Like somebody once said to me "there are no friends, only acquaintances"
much love, SwB
SwB: Hi there! You are probably right, but can one go on like this? You can't lead your life with acquaintances only, right...
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